By: Bree Fromage
As I predicted with my future maternal instincts, Notre Dame beat Navy. However, I was wrong since College Game Day did not show it’s dirty face on campus. I do have to say, those maternal instincts aren’t too bad considering I’m not a mother, pregnant nor do I plan on being any time soon. Now I get to turn my attention to that dust bowl in Arizona.
I don’t know much about Notre Dame/Arizona State football, but what I do know is this week’s edition of A Dame’s View is all about jealousy. Yes, believe it or not, women get jealous…very jealous. I know many of the guys reading this right now are like, “No way! I’ve never seen a woman get jealous about anything!”, but it’s true, we get jealous. I completely admit, I’m jealous of Arizona State’s head coach, Todd Graham. They have a motto at ASU that they “underachieve with style”. Have you seen the pretty accessories that guy wears? First, that silver fox prowls the sidelines with those pretty sweatbands on his wrist. You’re not a male cheerleader. Take the wristbands off. Second, he has that pretty little Britney Spears microphone like he’s getting ready to sing the chorus to “Hit Me Baby One More Time”.
Speaking of jealousy, you know Britney is jealous of Todd. He has a prettier microphone than she does and he has bigger boobs. However, as the song goes, “Just give me a sign. Hit me baby one more time.”
So let’s hit you with another number – Arizona State does beat Notre Dame in one area. If there was a Grace Hall on the Arizona State campus they would have the #1 lit up year around because Arizona State is the number one party school in the nation. Unfortunately, that’s a title Notre Dame won’t be taking from them any time soon. While the biggest news recently on the Notre Dame campus is a football player dating a porn star, it’s an every day occurrence on the ASU campus because half the girls that go there are porn stars. We can’t win this battle, Notre Dame fans. Notre Dame has 97 consensus All-Americans. Courtney Simpson, who started at ASU and wore an ASU cheerleading outfit in one of her videos, has 206 total films on her resume! The good news for students like Courtney and Elizabeth Hawkenson is ASU does not care. As a matter of fact, Elizabeth was actually on scholarship at ASU and it wasn’t for Sex Ed., it was for Geology.
I gotta admit, having the #1 party school or most adult film stars isn’t the only thing ASU leads Notre Dame in. The women that attend that school are hot. I’m talking smoking hot. They could turn me. If you haven’t seen it, a couple ASU girls dressed as the women in the Blurred Lines music video for Halloween 2013, meaning they wore nothing. They literally walked around campus in only high heels. That takes guts, then again, the adult film correlation is starting to make more and more sense. However, there are no blurred lines in this football game, which is why we are here. Notre Dame is 3-0 against Arizona State, which would be the same number of fingers they hold up for that dumb pitchfork/shocker thing they do.
Don’t get me wrong, like many women; I am not opposed to the shocker every now and then, but not on the field. It just doesn’t belong in football. Which is why there will be no shocker this weekend and Notre Dame will win again. It’s really about Heaven vs. Hell when you talk about Notre Dame and the Sun Devils. If you all want to see a silver fox with dumb sweatbands and microphone dress with more accessories than the actors and actresses on campus then coach a team to a loss, this is the game for you. ASU might talk trash now, but win or lose, I’m sure they will end up with egg on their face. Go Irish!