All posts by breefromage

A Dame’s View — Notre Dame vs. Louisville

By: Bree Fromage

Once again, my predication about Notre Dame beating Northwestern was wrong. Might I add that I hate being wrong… I should stop making predications after consuming a bottle of wine. But it does help me cope with my depression after losing to a team that Notre Dame should have beaten. Going for two when it made absolutely no sense still haunts me… Where is that bottle of wine?!

Well, I don’t know much about Notre Dame/Louisville football, but what I do know is this week’s edition of “A Dame’s View” is all about Kentucky. Truth be told, I did not know that Louisville was in Kentucky until this week. But it does make sense considering how everyone pronounces it:

loouhvuhl

So, it got me to thinking…why do they pronounce “Louisville” like “Loo-A-Vul”? Then I remembered…it is in KentuckKFC LOGOy. When I think of Kentucky…I think of Kentucky Fried Chicken. The Original Deep Fried Chicken, hot and tasty! Whenever you take a bite of that chicken…it’s so juicy and greasy…much like Bobby Petrino. Meanwhile, the football team seems like they would be good at first but then they become a hot mess, like Bobby Petrino. However, I personally know that the taste of KFC’s deep fried chicken can cause people to inhale a wing in one bite… Maybe that’s how they get “Loo-A-Vul”, a mouth full of slop, like Bobby Petrino. Now I’m beginning to think the issue going on with our Notre Dame Football team is too much KFC fried chicken. After having a piece of KFC’s chicken, your hands get so greasy and I’m positive that is what is causing all those turnovers and fumbles. Yeah…I bet that’s it…definitely not Golson’s fault.

You know what? Louisville also makes me think of baseball bats…not a university with a football team. I think it’s called the “Louisville Slugger”…supposedly the original wooden baseball bat. Whatever that means…I just hear about those wooden baseball bats breaking all the time. Like a broken bat, the Notre Dame Football team currently looks like it is splintered into a million pieces. F9665ZIHQ72ZPCN.MEDIUM

It’s going to take A LOT more than glue to put it back together at this point. Maybe we can get some nails and a hammer to put the team back together? Or maybe they should just hook up with players on the volleyball team. It helped Bobby Petrino bounce back.

Louisville has been waiting for this matchup against Notre Dame for several decades. I heard a rumor that Louisville is trying to get all their fans to do a red out at the game this Saturday. Little do they know that they only red that they will see is when Notre Dame tramples over their bleeding hearts when they score touchdowns. I do believe that Notre Dame will come up with this win and send Louisville crying home. GO IRISH!

A Dame’s View – Notre Dame vs. Northwestern University

By: Bree Fromage

Well, my predication about Notre Dame domination over ASU was a little off. It’s hard for me to predict when we have a quarterback that likes to turnover so often. But as many of you have said online, we have to forgive him. I have it on good authority from numerous students on Notre Dame’s campus that he even fumbles his books while walking out of classrooms. If only the defense were there to save him!!!!!

Anyway…I better get off my soapbox so he doesn’t have the chance to turn it over again before I’m done writing this article. I don’t know much about Notre Dame/Northwestern University football, but what I do know is this week’s edition of “A Dame’s View” is about unionization. The first thing I think of when unionization pops into my head is when there is picketing in front of a grocery store. Funny thing is that this is probably where most of these Northwestern players will end up once they are done with their NCAA football.  Question they will be asking the most is, “Do you want paper or plastic”?

paper_or_plastic

Speaking of that, this team couldn’t play their way out of a wet paper bag. I mean, they are part of the Big 10 Conference and we all know how pathetic that conference is… They played Michigan last week and lost to them!!!!! Even ESPN has Northwestern University listed as one of the worst college football teams in history…

There are only a handful notable alums hailing from Northwestern University, with the most known being Stephen Colbert. So, it’s time for me to give a “tip of the hat, wag of the finger” to the Notre Dame/Northwestern game.cr_10031_02

First, the tip of the hat to Northwestern’s last conference championship in 2000. 8-and-4 to win the Big 10! Unfortunately, for them…they were still outplayed by a 9-and-3 Notre Dame team coached by Bob Davie… Yes…a Bob Davie team.

Next….a wag of the finger to Notre Dame’s defense. When are you guys going to learn no matter how many times Golson turns it over and how close it is to the end-zone…that it is your fault?!?!?! I’m tired of you defensive players continuously getting the team back into the game and having Golson blow it for you!  Buck up and cover for him already!

A tip of the hat to Brian Kelly, who has been fantastic helping Golson keep his cool on the sidelines despite turning the ball over several times.  We all know the best way to play is to play loose and Kelly is helping Golson do that by agreeing to everything he says after Golson screws up. Then yelling at the player Golson was throwing to instead of the idiot who threw the interception.  This kind of coaching is easy to see on the sidelines as Golson laughs the whole time even though his mistakes are costing the team dearly.  Way to keep him cool, coach!

A wag of the finger to Northwestern’s mascot the Wildcat.

125px-NorthwesternWildcats Good job picking the most ferocious animal you could find out there for your school.  It doesn’t matter if it’s the most generic mascot in all of sports.  Hell, even the high school in High School Musical had a wildcat mascot.  Better than me try to explain it to you; I’ll let Urban Dictionary do the work for me:

Screen Shot 2014-11-10 at 8.41.56 PM (1)

In the end, we all know that Notre Dame is going to win this game. Frankly, all the Golson lovers need this win especially against this really strong 3-and-6 team. I’m looking forward to reading all the comments online saying how awesome he is and defending him. Even though this girl who knows nothing about football at least knows that he has cost us one game and almost several more games. But at the end of the day, GO IRISH!

A Dame’s View — Notre Dame vs. ASU

By: Bree Fromage

As I predicted with my future maternal instincts, Notre Dame beat Navy.  However, I was wrong since College Game Day did not show it’s dirty face on campus.  I do have to say, those maternal instincts aren’t too bad considering I’m not a mother, pregnant nor do I plan on being any time soon.  Now I get to turn my attention to that dust bowl in Arizona.

I don’t know much about Notre Dame/Arizona State football, but what I do know is this week’s edition of A Dame’s View is all about jealousy.  Yes, believe it or not, women get jealous…very jealous.  I know many of the guys reading this right now are like, “No way! I’ve never seen a woman get jealous about anything!”, but it’s true, we get jealous. I completely admit, I’m jealous of Arizona State’s head coach, Todd Graham.  They have a motto at ASU that they “underachieve with style”. Have you seen the pretty accessories that guy wears?  First, that silver fox prowls the sidelines with those pretty sweatbands on his wrist.  You’re not a male cheerleader.  Take the wristbands off.   Second, he has that pretty little Britney Spears microphone like he’s getting ready to sing the chorus to “Hit Me Baby One More Time”. Todd Graham with Mic

Speaking of jealousy, you know Britney is jealous of Todd.  He has a prettier microphone than she does and he has bigger boobs.  However, as the song goes, “Just give me a sign.  Hit me baby one more time.”

Britney with Mic

So let’s hit you with another number – Arizona State does beat Notre Dame in one area.  If there was a Grace Hall on the Arizona State campus they would have the #1 lit up year around because Arizona State is the number one party school in the nation.  Unfortunately, that’s a title Notre Dame won’t be taking from them any time soon.  While the biggest news recently on the Notre Dame campus is a football player dating a porn star, it’s an every day occurrence on the ASU campus because half the girls that go there are porn stars.  We can’t win this battle, Notre Dame fans.  Notre Dame has 97 consensus All-Americans.  Courtney Simpson, who started at ASU and wore an ASU cheerleading outfit in one of her videos, has 206 total films on her resume!  The good news for students like Courtney and Elizabeth Hawkenson is ASU does not care.  As a matter of fact, Elizabeth was actually on scholarship at ASU and it wasn’t for Sex Ed., it was for Geology.

I gotta admit, having the #1 party school or most adult film stars isn’t the only thing ASU leads Notre Dame in.  The women that attend that school are hot.  I’m talking smoking hot.  They could turn me.  If you haven’t seen it, a couple ASU girls dressed as the women in the Blurred Lines music video for Halloween 2013, meaning they wore nothing.  They literally walked around campus in only high heels.   That takes guts, then again, the adult film correlation is starting to make more and more sense.  However, there are no blurred lines in this football game, which is why we are here.  Notre Dame is 3-0 against Arizona State, which would be the same number of fingers they hold up for that dumb pitchfork/shocker thing they do.  ASU Pitchfork

Don’t get me wrong, like many women; I am not opposed to the shocker every now and then, but not on the field.  It just doesn’t belong in football.   Which is why there will be no shocker this weekend and Notre Dame will win again.  It’s really about Heaven vs. Hell when you talk about Notre Dame and the Sun Devils.  If you all want to see a silver fox with dumb sweatbands and microphone dress with more accessories than the actors and actresses on campus then coach a team to a loss, this is the game for you.  ASU might talk trash now, but win or lose, I’m sure they will end up with egg on their face.  Go Irish!