2013, could you come here for a moment? (pours two glasses of whiskey).
Oh, I see you’re already out the door. Well, you might want to sit down. I’m just going to come out and say it: It’s over. We both know it’s been over for a little while now, but we should make it official. To be fair, there were warning signs well before now…
When we first met, I was filled with anticipation and expectation that you could be the one. That quickly evaporated. We took that trip to Miami together. What a magical time it was to be. Yet there on the beach you left me our final night in the city. Went running off with that southern, inbred hick. I heard there was champagne and celebration, but I didn’t stay around to find out. I went off, got drunk with some of the guys, and I forgave you…
After all, the flirting period the Fall before had been incredible. Every Saturday you’d found a new way to tease me. To make me feel special. Eventually there was no denying that you and I were going to meet. The stars were going to align and we’d be meant for one another. In December of 2012 I heard the rumors you were too good to be true. I quickly dismissed it though. “Just jealousy from those that hate me,” I said.
Screw them all! 2013, you and I were going to prove them wrong. Miami wasn’t what it could have been, but we were alright. Then, the bombshell hit. It turned out parts of you were too good to be true. You took away my heart, my purity, my moral compass. I was speechless. People mocked me for even thinking you could be the one. Okay, so you weren’t perfect, but still….I was intoxicated from the Fall of 2012. I could also have still been feeling the buzz from Miami.
(pours another glass of Whiskey)
There were other warning signs. Not too soon after some of your imperfections came to light, I noticed that folks started to run away. I searched for the reason and found solace in their reasons. Turned out one guy I really liked had family commitments that couldn’t be ignored. Another knew that you weren’t going to belong to him and sought greener pastures. I wrote them off too; flawed in their logic that you couldn’t be the one. Not only that, but in early February you brought me that litter of puppies. You showed me their elite pedigree and said raising them together would bring us closer. You said we’d be able to enjoy them for years to come and to just have some faith.
I did have faith. I believed you. Then I found out that you’d had other indiscretions during 2012. That part of what made you alluring then, and tangible now, was going away. No, you didn’t cheat on me with another man, but you cheated on me mentally. That creative spark that I so admired may not be quite as bright as I thought. My god, everything was just crumbling around us. I respect that you came clean about that. You’d said you were going to re-dedicate yourself and comeback stronger, better than ever. By this point, I wasn’t entirely ready to wait around, but what else could be done? You’d built me up, raised my expectations, and I needed to be the bigger man and stick by you during these times. My faith would be rewarded.
Right around that same time, one of the puppies ran away. This made me sad, but given everything else that happened it didn’t seem quite as bad. I mean, I hadn’t had an opportunity to know him yet. He was still just a puppy. I thought you and I had done our best to give him a good home, had treated him well, and if he was still too dumb to realize that, then I just hoped he’d find a good home. Far, far away where I didn’t have to be reminded that he’d left us.
As the late Summer/early Fall came around, I felt a renewed sense of excitement. Some of it didn’t directly have to do with you but still brought back fond memories. There was that magical trip out of the country I took when you were but a fantasy. When I thought back to that, I wondered if there was still a chance for us. After all, that trip was great, but it’s not like I’d had major expectations back then either.
Oh yeah, I was also less than thrilled with the idea of your sometimes annoying friend returning to our relationship. She’d been alright in small doses while we were flirting, but I never wanted her to be around continuously. This is something I never felt the need to tell you before now, but I knew your friend before I knew you. There’d been far too many Saturdays where she’d showed up and done something so embarrassing that everyone I was with reverted to drinking and making fun of her. It’s moot now but just thought you should know.
It wasn’t that the Fall was bad. It’s just that it missed the magic from a year ago that was so exciting. No longer were we destined for one another. We were in a rut. You knew it. I knew it, and there didn’t appear to be much that could be done to cure it. By this point, I knew it was just a matter of time before you and I were finished. I didn’t say it then because the timing wasn’t right. Deep down inside, I have to believe you knew it too. We found things to blame our problems on, but they all rang hollow. Sometimes the timing just isn’t right, and I think we both know that was the case here.
Hell, since I’m being truly honest anyways, your friend wasn’t even that bad. I even came to appreciate some of the moments she’d been there for. Sure, I’d rather she not have been, but given everything, it wasn’t her that harmed us. I came to like her flaws. Oh how I remember those late nights where we’d stay up late, look at one another, and break out laughing about the things that’d gone wrong that night. It was awkward. Our laughter was fueled by nervousness and discomfort, but sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.
The final straw came this last December. Our time was running short. We scheduled a trip to New York together, but there wasn’t any situation under which that could honestly be seen as a chance for reconciliation. Under the best of circumstances, I knew I just wouldn’t loathe you. Your buddy the matchmaker even left you. Don’t look at me like you don’t know who I’m talking about. I’m talking about the one, I can’t remember his name off the top of my head, that had that head of hair and believed in vampires. He was hilariously awkward and had helped provide some of the most memorable moments from that 2012 flirting period. I knew if he was ready to leave, there was nothing more to be done. Only thing left was to wait until after the holidays…
Sooo….here we are. You and I. I wish I could say “it wasn’t you, it was me,” but that’s disingenuous. It was you. I’d have given you anything. My heart, my money, it didn’t matter. You just callously stomped on it. What could have been our best moment was ruined by that stupid southern hick down in Miami.
And that’s where I need to confess something to you. By chance, I found out there’s someone new out there for me: 2014. She’s promised to bring back the energy and creative spark that you cast off. Even better, I’ve heard she’s already stomped on that southern asshole you thought was better than me. No, I don’t know that much about her, but the mystery is part of the allure. All of the things that made you special, she’s now got. Fact is, you’re past your prime. In case you didn’t notice, you’re kind of a loner nowadays. Most everyone’s already moved on, I’m just joining the crowd. In a brief conversation, 2014 told me that you weren’t even that special to the southerner. Apparently, you were just a notch on his belt. That’s all I needed to hear to make this final.
While you won’t be remembered for all the great times, I should thank you. I’m confident that when I do find the one I’ll appreciate her even more. Hopefully 2014 can be that one…
(glasses up for a cheers to the new adventure)